Ways To Make Transitions And Visitation Easier For Your Children

by Scott F. Bocchio on Aug. 06, 2020

Divorce & Family Law Family Law Divorce & Family Law  Child Custody 

Summary: Although transitions are now part of your life and the lives of your children, there are a few things that you can do in order to make them a bit easier on your kids.

Ways To Make Transitions And Visitation Easier For Your Children

 

Co-parenting means that life is now more complicated for your kids. Even if you have an agreeable custody arrangement in place, the move from one household to another can be extremely hard on your children whether it takes place every couple of days or on particular weekends. You need to keep in mind that every time your children reunite with one parent they are also being separated from the other parent. In essence, every hello also has a goodbye attached to it. Although transitions are now part of your life and the lives of your children, there are a few things that you can do in order to make them a bit easier on your kids. For example, as your children are preparing to leave your house and go to your ex’s house, stay as positive as possible. 

 

It is also important to drop them off on time. You need to help your children anticipate the change by reminding them that they will be leaving for their other parent’s house prior to the visit. It is always a smart idea to pack in advance. Depending on your children’s age, help them pack their bags with plenty of time before leaving so they do not forget anything that they will miss. You should also encourage them to pack familiar reminders such as a picture or favorite stuffed animal. Another good idea is to drop off your children instead of picking them up. 

 

That way you will avoid taking your children from their other parent. In essence, you will not take the risk of interrupting them during a special moment. The start of your children’s return to your home can be awkward or even difficult. Keep things low-key in order to help you children adjust. For example, when they first enter your home, try to have a bit of sit down time together. You can read a book or take part in some other quiet type of activity. Keep in mind that children often need space and time to adjust to the transition. If that is the case with your children, give them space, but do something nearby in order to keep an eye on them. 

 

Keep in mind that over time things will become more normal. You should also establish a special routine with your children when they return to your home. For example, play a game or serve the same special meal when they return. Children not only need routine, they thrive on it. When they know exactly what to expect when they return to you it will go a long way in helping them make the transition.  You may also need to deal with visitation refusal. In essence, some children in joint custody situations refuse to leave one parent’s house in order to stay with the other. If that is occurring in your life you need to find the cause. 

 

There may be a simple resolution to the issue such as providing them with more toys and other types of entertainment. You may also need to change your discipline style a bit. 

 

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